Welcome to The Sex Toy Laboratory

Welcome to The Sex Toy Laboratory

Science was never my favourite subject at school; far from it in fact. It is strange then, that I adore watching scientific documentaries online. Perhaps it is not particularly out of character because those programmes usually focus on the science of sexual response. I saw one, a few years ago, that examined the physical changes that occur in the body during intercourse. The effect of this hour-long broadcast on my imagination was so profound that, since then, I have often wondered about the way my own body alters during climax.

I must confess that I found the whole scenario, presented by the documentary, really arousing. I put the acute horniness of the scene down to its rich mixture of scientific formality and carnal abandon. The scientists in white coats were busy analysing data on their screens being generated by a couple losing themselves in a moment of passion as they lay inside an MRI scanner. The clash of formality and informality has always got to me and this was a perfect example. I could not have imagined, at that stage, that this fantasy would eventually become a reality for me.

Two years ago, I had the unbelievable opportunity to visit the University of Barcelona and masturbate under the strictest of laboratory test conditions so that the data could be analysed. I was wearing a face-mask and my chest was decorated with electrodes before I began to apply my favourite rabbit to the task at hand. My breathing, heart-rate and blood pressure were monitored at all times during the test. It didn’t turn out to be the horny experience that I had visualised. I was aware of the weight of expectation placed upon me; I could not let the ten scientists down and not have an orgasm. I was masturbating for them, not for my own selfish pleasures. They wanted the results that I could supply.

I wrote an article about the whole experience and I called it ‘The Day I Masturbated for Science‘. It was published in El País and ended up as the most read article for two straight days. No other piece of breaking news or significant piece of reporting got close during that time.

When I discovered the TV series ‘Masters of Sex’ I became hooked on it just like many other viewers did. It was clear that my own experience in sexperimentation was nothing compared to that of Virginia Johnson and what she got up to at work on a regular basis. I have spent the last two years trying to be a part of more, official, sexual experiments but to no avail. With a lack of alternatives, and no formal offers in the pipeline, I decided to take it upon myself to get started.

My bedroom has become my Sex Toy Laboratory and my bed is now my test area. As an experienced sex toy tester, my experiments on myself are direct and as vigorous as you might expect. In order to confirm the results, and resolve my conclusions on the efficacy of a specific toy, my tests have to be repeated.

Sometimes a third and fourth go are required…

…just to be certain.

I will be publishing more of my sex toy video reviews over the next few weeks.