The Myth of Financial Domination

In BDSM, financial domination is a situation where a female dominant has complete control over the disposable income of Her submissive slave. For her instant gratification, she would also expect gifts whenever she felt like it.

A financial slave only works and earns so that he can please his adored dominant female. This means that he supplies constant financial support to Her and that he pays instant monetary penalties whenever She demands them. A key part of financial domination is the slave’s acceptance that he should only live on the cheapest groceries available so that his Goddess can enjoy more luxuries at his expense. To permit his domme to live like the Goddess that he knows She is, a good slave will make any sacrifice and – more importantly – take huge fetishistic pleasure in doing so. He expects nothing in return except the continued honour of serving Her.

When viewed in these terms it seems as though the domme has complete financial control but – in reality – the scenario is much more complicated. I am convinced that, in any situation, the customer is always right. The person with the money is the one with the real power in a BDSM relationship as in any other. This conclusion is at odds with the accepted definition of financial domination.

There is no such thing as a free lunch and a domme understands this all too well. The world of BDSM does not have a trade union or social security and a good domme – even a great one – has to maintain Her charm at all times to ensure Her continued value to Her slave and all of those subsequent treats and envelopes of cash.


Even the nature of Her domination can depend upon whether She wants easy funds to spend on indulgent treats for Herself or whether She needs a fast bank transfer to cover Her monthly rent. It is here that the subtle influence of the sub begins to be felt by the domme and Her behaviour might adapt to accommodate it.

It is my firm belief that any relationship based on the financial superiority of one party over the other pushes the real power towards the owner of the money. In the case of a BDSM relationship, where the line is firmly drawn between domme and sub, the presence of money in the hands of the sub can distort the connection between them. A delicate and mutually satisfying balance between a paying sub and a struggling domme seems unlikely.

It was a real surprise to me to realise that the financial support, gifts and resources that I began to receive through financial domination didn’t please me any less than if I had earned them myself.

I wonder, sometimes, if my slave is aware of the power he has just by typing his credit card number online on my behalf.

When I feel a vibration from my smartphone telling me his life-savings have just gone down again for my benefit – I don’t really care who is in charge.

Venus Nude Financial Domination Photos by Guy Moberly

18 thoughts on “The Myth of Financial Domination”

  1. Such a significant post. After some light, humourous and erotic confections, this amazing vignette really digs deep into a BDSM contradiction that is rarely, if ever, addressed directly. Thank you for opening this subject up for more scrutiny.

  2. It’s hard to underestimate just how controversial and fascinating this brave take on the world of BDSM really is. I’ve never read anything more honest or more open about the underpinnings of a Mistress/Slave relationship. Brilliant.

  3. So great to know that there’s someone out there with the courage to talk about this phenomenon from experience and not prejudice.

  4. punishingkisses

    Mistress/Slave relationships cut both ways it seems. The thinking behind this piece is as neat as a pin but sharper.

  5. It’s strange to consider just how far your slave will go to prove his fidelity to you…I feel a little envious of you both. Wonderful work.

  6. Thank you so much for this intelligent, thoughtful and very frank post. It is very rare to see this subject of the power relationship/exchange between money slave and mistress discussed in this way. You are so right that ultimate power rests with whoever has the money … and this is why I believe that TRUE power exchange can come only when the mistress is given genuine power/control over the slave’s finances – through blackmail, through legal/contractual arrangements, etc.

  7. I agree with this… mostly. I always roll my eyes a bit when a Financial Domme says (or writes), “You should never expect anything in return for your tributes.” or, “This isn’t a game…”

    Of course it is a game, and of course we expect something in return for or tributes. I think the person with the money does hold the power most of the time, but I also think that a great Domme can turn that on it’s head a bit because as secure and full of male bravado a lot of guys are, most of us are scared little boys when it comes to a beautiful dominant woman, and because of that we generally don’t realize that being the one paying in this type of situation is in anyway really empowering us, in relation to the Domme.

    I think of it like bragging about sex. Men brag about sex all the time with their friends, we are obsessed with our penises and sex. Women on the other hand (many anyway) aren’t nearly obsessed the way we are. Why?

    Because women usually have all the power when it comes to sex. Maybe some don’t realize it, but that is generally true. A average guy can go to a bar a ask between 7-10 girls out and probably get one or two answers of yes. That is just to go on a date, not sex. If an average woman walked into a bar and wanted sex, she would probably have a yes after asking 1-3 guys. So, even though on one level, the paying sub may have the real power because of the money, it doesn’t always mean we realize it, or feel as though it is true. To be honest, if we admitted or felt that way…it might even kill the fantasy for a lot of us.

  8. What a fascinating read especially as I’ve been given the opportunity to have a domestic and financial slave. I don’t want him to be in any difficulties so I know that the vast amount of the tributes will go into a holding account. I’m finically comfortable but the thought of having this often arrogant man at my feet sounds very promising

    Thank you for the insightful post much appreciated x

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