Written by Rupert O.
In this video, Venus reflects upon the subject of relationship deal-breakers. After a hectic week, working in Berlin, she’s in the mind to relax a little before getting back fully into the thick of things. During the previous week, however, she posted a video that garnered some fascinating feedback that warranted a proper response.
The video had, as its subject, a man who’d been married to his wife for a long time. Yet, she flatly refused to give him a blowjob under any circumstances. A group of commenters expressed the same opinion about the situation – that they would never carry on a relationship with someone if there was an embargo on fellatio.
This led to Venus pondering the subject of relationship deal breakers in more detail.
As far as she is concerned, sex is ‘really, really, important in a relationship.’ And so is the process of ongoing intimacy, given the fact that there are always times when you, or your partner, simply don’t feel like having sex. In any event, if you are embarking on a new relationship and you’re not getting oral sex, or if something else isn’t quite right between you, then it’s hardly likely to improve from that low point.
Whatever happens, Venus explains, you need to be in a place where the sex feels good, ‘where it ticks all of the boxes.’
Getting back to the subject of relationship deal breakers, she wonders whether people in general tend to nurse a preconceived notion about the kind of relationship, or partner, that they want. She believes that many of them join Tinder, or other dating sites, seeking the easy realisation of that fixed idea. Anticipating the possibility that anyone online would so easily conform to such rigid personal parameters seems fraught with the threat of disappointment, she confides.
Venus reflects upon her own personal history in this respect. She admits that when she first settled in Barcelona, she swore to herself that she would ‘never tie herself into another long-distance relationship.’ How perfectly ironic then that her next partner lived in London and the subsequent one resided in Madrid. Of course, it just so happened that they were the ones who satisfied her the most at those times – both emotionally and sexually. It was never something that she went out of her way to choose.
Other people lay down uncompromising restrictions to future relationships in the same way. For instance, a woman may preclude going out with a man who used to be married and has children. At a basic level this might be because she wants unqualified attention without being made part of a queue. Later on, however, it may well transpire that she falls for exactly the type of partner that she initially excluded from the dating table.
Venus admits that the same situation arose with her. She ended up going out with someone who embodied all of the characteristics, and possessed all of the attributes, that previously defined the term relationship deal-breaker.
She goes on to suggest that instead of harbouring disappointment over not achieving her relationship objectives, she feels happy about it instead. This is due to the perception she nurtures that she has breached her own self-imposed restrictions. By introducing the rogue element of objective reality into the subjective pursuit of perfection, she can work on herself much more effectively.
Venus strenuously believes that love introduces itself into your life when you remove the blocks that prevent it from doing so. You might try to protect yourself with the best of intentions. But by vibrating on a higher spiritual frequency, you might attract a more auspicious, and more authentic, kind of attention. Above all, avoid going on production-line dates where you end up being needlessly prescriptive about the merits of the other person. That is self-defeating, Looking to yourself might make the notion of a relationship deal-breaker obsolete.