F*cked At 40: Life Beyond Suburbia, Monogamy and Stretch Marks by Tova Leigh, Writer, Performer, Digital Creator, and Bestselling Author of ‘You Did What?’

Tova Leigh, Writer, Performer, Digital Creator, and Bestselling Author of “You Did What?” joins The Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast by Venus O’Hara to share her confessions about motherhood, relationships, and body image.


Listen to the full episode here: 

Key facts


Key takeaways

Coping with Challenges Through Humor (0:25)


Tova began her blog in the early days of motherhood when she was struggling mentally. Through her blog, she started using humor as a way of coping with her feelings. Comedy ended up helping her overcome those life challenges. Tova creates humoristic content inspired by life situations as well as serious videos on rape, sexism, and abortions.

Sharing People’s Confessions (8:30)

Tova is going on tour soon to promote her new book, “You Did What?” It is a collection of secrets, confessions, and stories from women from all over the world. In this book, Tova also shares her own confessions and secrets on topics such as motherhood, sex, relationships, and body image.

The Impact of Social Media on Body Image and Body Shame (16:16)

Tova states that the way we see the world changes throughout our life. At one point in time, she had concerns about her body image. But now, Tova is grateful for having a healthy body and doesn’t care about negative opinions on her looks. She also highlights how social media forms people’s perceptions about body image and body shame. The easiest way to deal with this is to control your feed and choose who to follow.

Dealing With Body Shamers (23:34)

Dealing with body shaming has to start with a person accepting their body and being proud of it. Don’t hide and avoid judgments. Wear whatever you like and what makes you feel comfortable. Also, start filtering your social media accounts. If a body shamer criticizes you, take it as an opinion, not a fact for which you need to be accountable.

Which phrase/affirmation/quote/philosophy do you live by?

Say yes and figure it out later.

What is the book that changed your life?

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés.

Subscribe to The Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast by Venus O’Hara



“What I discovered was that people hide the same secrets. So no matter where you are from, people experience shame and embarrassment over the same things. Another thing I discovered was that when they do share them, and they get that feedback, they are amazed. A person may think that he was the only one who did that. But when he finds out that it’s not just him, it makes him feel better.”

“I don’t have time to waste any more on thinking about my body appearance. I’m so grateful that I have a body, that my body works, that I get up every morning, I can walk, I’m breathing, and I can do the things that I need to do and want to.”

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