Classification of Orgasms

There’s nothing quite like having an orgasm. Just think of the amazing tension you experience just a moment before it’s released by sudden spasms and groans. Then there’s the exquisite sense of total relaxation that follows.

I must admit that I used to think that women were either vaginal or clitoral as far as their orgasms were concerned. I believed that the pleasures experienced by both types were the same and that it was just the area of stimulation that differed. Now, however, I’m not so sure. In my experience, the orgasms achieved from vaginal stimulation are different from those produced by clitoral stimulation. They are both pleasant, but different. But I think our climax is not limited to two categories, there are many more.

Some women can even have orgasms without any stimulation at all. This can happen when practising some kinds of sport or controlled breathing. In my case, orgasms can occur when I’m asleep. In fact, that was how I made my orgasmic debut. From quite an early age I have experienced nocturnal orgasms. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and feeling my body shaking with intense spasms. It was an overwhelmingly physiological response to dreams or ideas that I could never remember.

When I explained this orgasmic phenomenon to my friends they told me I was very lucky. I learned, unfortunately, that such ‘nocturnal privileges’ could also have their drawbacks. Whenever I had a sleepover with any of them, I worried about whether I would come uncontrollably during the night. My worst nightmare came true during a vacation in Paris while I was sharing a bed. I woke up spasming in the dark and I did everything I could to conceal it. I hoped that my friend wouldn’t wake up and realise what was happening. Luckily, I relaxed and went back to sleep. If my friend ever knew then she never mentioned it, thank goodness!

Venus O'Hara by Sebas Romero

Foto: Sebas Romero

Having an orgasm is certainly very therapeutic and not just in relation to satisfying sexual desire. It’s the perfect solution for insomnia, stress and physical pain. In my case I find that it relaxes me completely. This is especially true on those nights when I can’t stop thinking about all the work I have to do the following day. An orgasm is like a muscle relaxant, a sleeping pill and a tranquilizer combined into a single treatment. As it’s a natural remedy, nothing bad will happen if you get hooked. There’s no danger of having an overdose either. Another big advantage is that orgasms help to relieve menstrual pain. In my personal research I’ve discovered that an orgasm gives me two hours of pain relief; the equivalent of half a paracetamol!

Sometimes, however, the sudden release of tension can result in tears. I’ve often cried during a climax and that can be very embarrassing. It usually happens when I’m in love but it’s not always due to an emotional connection with my lover. Orgasmic weeping can happen after a long period of celibacy when I’m enjoying the feeling of having intense physical contact again. I feel relieved and overwhelmed at the same time and I wonder how I could’ve gone without sex for so long and denied my body so much pleasure. I prefer to hide my face during these orgasms, because it’s not very sexy and sometimes I even scare my lovers who misinterpret my expressions of ecstasy.

I’ve also learned that not all orgasms are pleasurable. This is particularly true of the ‘ruined’ orgasm. This can happen when your vibrator batteries run out just after the first spasm, or if your lover suddenly stops doing something great at the wrong time. In my opinion, a ruined orgasm is worse than not having one at all.

I’m sure there are many more varieties of orgasm. Whatever the type, the most important thing is to enjoy the tension, spasms and groans because there’s nothing quite like having an orgasm.


Translated from ‘Clasificación de orgasmos‘, published in El País in 2012.

2 thoughts on “Classification of Orgasms”

    1. You did not mention a Ticklegasm although that only works for some people (mainly people who find tickling highly sexual).

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site is registered on as a development site.