Can a Relationship Survive Sexual Incompatibility? My Experience
Written by Rupert O.
Venus was inspired to make this video about sexual incompatibility after receiving a comment on one of her previous videos. Its title was:
‘Is it okay to break up with someone via text message?’
Venus did that very thing and doesn’t regret it. Her reason for sending that text to a former partner? The sex didn’t work. And that situation affected other areas, such as intimacy. The resentment caused by sexual incompatibility created a ripple effect which expanded out into the rest of that relationship.
The question about her previous video, that intrigued Venus so much was:
‘Did you discuss what you needed from him, or what’s missing, like in the sex before you dumped him? Did you give him the chance to change?’
She admits that: ‘Yes, I did.’
Drawing on her past experience of a two-year relationship, she begins to explain her understanding of sexual incompatibility. So, after the initial adjustment period that marks the beginning of a new relationship, Venus explains that: ‘After the trust has grown, everything else can grow.’
But the problems continued for her, and despite being patient, problems with impotence remained. She sums up the issue of sexual incompatibility succinctly: ‘If you promise fidelity to someone who can’t fulfil you, it creates frustration.’ Not knowing how to introduce the subject with her former partner, in case she made the problem worse, she tried to be diplomatic. He remained in denial, however.
Venus explains why she stayed with him, the common interests that they had outside of sex and their usual disappointing routine on Sunday mornings. She tells a story about a particular time when sexual incompatibility gets boiled down to: freshly-squeezed orange juice, Formula 1 and an unfortunate incident with a sex toy.
Venus decides that some relationships can survive sexual incompatibility, especially during phases when sex isn’t quite so important. But, at the end of the day, whether you can overcome it depends on how important sex is for you.