12 Tips to Fire Up Your Sexy Time In Your 40s
Welcome to the naughty forties! If you’ve just hit the big 4-0 now’s the time to rethink how you enjoy the Big O. I’m talking about orgasms, of course.
If you’ve lost your libido, think you don’t look as good in lingerie anymore, or need new ways to get the motor running, then you’re in the right place.
These tips will make sexy time so much better, no matter how many candles were on your cake.
- Accept your changing body
If your breasts are a bit less perky and your bum sags or your bod is a bit more dad than dude you need to accept that with age comes change. You can go to the gym or get that nip/tuck you’ve always wanted, but at the end of the day, you still need to love the skin you’re in.
Embrace your changing body and work on developing a healthy relationship with it. You are sexy, you are strong, and you deserve pleasure—just like everyone else!
- Invest in new sex toys
If your dildo is dusty and the last vibrator, you bought still needs plugging in, it’s time for an upgrade.
Sex toys have come a long way and there’s something for everyone now, no matter what your deepest darkest desires or fetishes are. From buttplugs to blow-up dolls, now is the perfect time to expand your toy collection. Best of all, you can order online so there’s no need to be shy!
- Lube it up
One of the biological symptoms of aging is a dry vagina. This means that getting wet doesn’t always happen, no matter how turned on you may be. Subsequently, people with penises may struggle to develop and or maintain erections the way they once did.
Fortunately, there’s a solution that can help a lot: lube.
Lube helps to stimulate blood flow, prevents chafing, and generally contributes to easier, more pleasurable sex. It’s great for men and women and it’s also the best tool for anal sex. Keep a tube handy and use it!
- Don’t be afraid to try new things
Your 40s are a great time to reassess the way you have been living your life and experiment with things you’ve never tried before—in and out of the bedroom. But when it comes to sex, your 40s is a great opportunity to discover even more about how your body experiences pleasure.
From role-playing to threesomes to bondage, anything you’ve ever wanted to try is within your grasp. You might be surprised by how much you like some things you would never have considered in the past.
- Make regular sex a priority
Just like most things, you can become more confident and adept at sexual activity with practice. By prioritizing it as an important aspect of your life, you can start to build up a more natural and comfortable association with it.
- Communicate with your sexual partner(s)
Whether you are married, single, or dating, open communication is important for anyone you have sex with. Talk to them about what you like, what your boundaries are, and what kind of stuff you’d like to explore. Then ask them about their preferences and take it from there.
- Massage it out
Massage is a great way to stimulate blood flow all over the body and get you in a sensual mood. Even a simple foot or back massage can feel erotic and it makes a great entry point to more intimate entanglements.
- Read sexy literature or watch adult movies
Arousal can be difficult to conjure up at will, especially with age. But reading erotic literature is one way to combat this. It’s a great method for staying in touch with your sense of arousal and exploring your fantasies.
If reading isn’t your thing, adult movies are another great option. There’s something to cater to every taste online, so look for whatever gets you hot and steamy.
- See pleasure as a journey, not a destination
Contrary to what many of us have been led to believe, the orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of sex. Of course, it is a significant part, and for many people, the goal. But it’s important to remember that it doesn’t have to be.
Removing the pressure to orgasm can make your sexual encounters feel more playful and relaxing, which, coincidentally, may be exactly what you need in order to climax.
- Continue to practice safe sex
Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s too late to fall pregnant or contract an STD. Regardless of age or dating habits, it’s always important to practice safe sex. Use condoms or other forms of contraception!
- Strengthen your body
It will be a lot easier to build up sexual confidence and self-confidence if you strengthen your body. Exercise is beneficial for so many important reasons, and great sex is one of them.
Set aside time to move your body outside of the bedroom and develop better strength and mobility. You’ll feel sexier, stronger, and more prepared for some delicious erotic encounters.
- Get to grips with your body’s needs
No one is immune to the ups and downs of human sexuality. Whether you are 16 or 61, arousal lulls are bound to happen here and there.
However, if your lull is due to something like erectile dysfunction or a lack of interest in sex, don’t let this get you down. You may need some help when sexually aroused and that’s absolutely fine. Or if you’re taking contraception that kills your libido, chat with your medical practitioner about alternative options. Your body changes as it ages and you need to keep up with what it needs.
Keep The Spark Alive
Aging is often associated with a decline in sexual activity, and while there are some biological reasons for this, it doesn’t have to be the case.
Aside from the natural hormonal fluctuations that tend to occur during this age bracket (especially for people with uteruses), there’s no reason why your sex life can’t be just as exciting and fulfilling as anyone younger than you. In fact, it may even get better over time.
Don’t let tired tropes about mature sexuality warp how you feel about your sex life. Embrace your age and use it to your advantage to discover more about yourself, your body, and your pleasure.